So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
