U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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