I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
