Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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