If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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