Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
