Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
NoShamevember. You game?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
