Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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