great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
