this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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