Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize