Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
