hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My pussy is not your playground.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
