It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
