nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
