My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
is it fun? or sober?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
