can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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