Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
