There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
