People in love make me want to vomit
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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