I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
