I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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