When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize