Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
