I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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