party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
