D3 body, D1 cock
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
