the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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