5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
