Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no, he came in my armpit
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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