i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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