I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize