So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
