It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
