My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
