If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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