their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
