For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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