he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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