the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
