butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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