I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
