Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
