I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
