Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
