Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The air was thick with penises
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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