Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize