yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize