can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my shit smells like andre
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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