Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
