I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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