Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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