I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
