idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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