Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I faked an abortion last night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well you can't waste a boner
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
