no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
