In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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