Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
