mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
