I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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