i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
