with your own penis?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
