Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
