where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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