I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
pray to the hookup gods
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
