Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need a beard to bite.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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